Having recently initiated a radical change in my life, I find myself examining more closely some of the ways I’ve created the kinds of obstacles for myself that I usually counsel my clients about. Most people have some experience with struggling to better themselves. The problem is that two nasty cohorts work with the roadblocks that can sideline those efforts: denial and lack of objectivity.

Add to that fact that it’s a pretty hefty hit to the ego to admit that we are creating our own limitations and you have a nice recipe for projection, avoidance, or both.

I know I’m on shaky ground when I owe at least two apologies in a single day, and this was one of those days. In both cases, I had an agenda and had scripted a scenario that was not only subjective and fluid, but missed the most important point – there were other things that mattered at least as much as what I was focusing on at the time.

So let’s take a look at how this might play out in the arena of self-care.

Do you think of yourself as someone who wants to lose weight but rationalize consuming late-day empty calories or larger-than-necessary portions because you worked hard all day and “deserve it”?

Have you justified not taking enough time to exercise by blaming work or all your other obligations without making a thorough assessment of where you might trim or get rid of some of the tasks around the house or delegate, postpone or eliminate some of the things that consume your time at work?

Do you blame aging for not being able to do the things you used to enjoy, or at least not at the same level?

The careful (and open) reader will recognize each of these diversionary tactics –denial, projection and avoidance. Ouch – that smarts, doesn’t it? Believe me, I know the feeling first-hand.

These programs, or limiting tapes we run and re-run in our minds are, perhaps 100 percent responsible for our seeming inability to improve our condition. It may be discouraging to consider, initially, but I think that ultimately, it’s empowering. It means we control our destiny. Don’t want that responsibility? Too bad, we can’t escape it.

But we can use that knowledge to take a next step in the direction that creates congruence between our stated values and our actions. And that’s a good place to be. It’s the launching point for unanticipated achievement. It’s why some people can build financial empires, lose their money and then rebuild their fortunes. They think like millionaires, they act the way they did while they were building their wealth, and they have every expectation that they will be successful again.

So the world lays itself at their feet.

What makes you think you can’t do the same?

Learn more about Dan Taylor at his website: http://trivalleytrainer.com/