Thanksgiving Turkey Traumas: We Can Laugh At It Now

Patch presents some Thanksgiving cooking disasters from our readers

Thanksgiving Day is close and as you can see from a few of our readers, dealing with the turkey can sometimes be more of a challenge than people bargained for. Fans of the movie "A Christmas Story" remember the scene involving the Bumpuses' ravenous dogs demolishing the turkey. From pet encounters to backed-up sinks to a chicken masquerading as a turkey, sometimes the fumbles and follies make for the best memories.

Patch Reader Randy Randleman:

"This one year we had our usually family Thanksgiving get together, about 13 people. We got the feast all prepared without incident, dad cut up the turkey for us and laid out the meat in in the trays. We quickly ran out of cabinet space for all the different food, dishes and condiments. In an attempt to get the non-essential items out of the way we placed the aluminum tray with the drippings and juice out in the garage.

We went ahead and had dinner, dessert and were starting to clean up when we noticed a strange noise coming from the garage, a crying whimpering sound. Well it turned out that with kids going to the garage for sodas the Dalmatian, Lady, managed to get out there without us knowing. Well this dog is not the brightest and a bit like a goldfish that won't stop eating till it pops! She had managed to drink all the liquid in the tray, probably a half gallon or so. Well, she was full, bloated and was very uncomfortable. She was waddling like a goose as she headed through the kitchen to go out in the backyard, you could hear the sloshing liquid in her belly!

As if this wasn't bad enough, she headed to the lawn to start the purging of the liquid and while out there managed to get to the fountain and downed more water, guess the turkey drippings were a bit salty! We ended up being up all night with this bloated and uncomfortable dog going outside  about every 15 minutes! No side effects from the over stuffed dog, but she did sleep the entire next day."

Patch Reader Kerrie Chabot:

"While I was a student living in Paris I wanted to host a Thanksgiving dinner, but they don't sell turkey in the supermarkets over there. (It is considered food for the peasants, lower-class.) I found canned corn (again, corn is considered food for the poor-- I lived in a rather fancy part of Paris, and was told by the local grocer, 'We do not sell corn. Go to the countryside....that is what the French feed their cattle!'

So, I found a chicken. I found canned peas. I smashed baguettes and added herbes de Provence to make stuffing. Yams from North Africa were plentiful in Paris (but not sweet potatoes).

Funny thing is, not one of the 19-year-olds I served noticed the chicken was not a turkey. It was all about the Americans in Paris company and fellowship. Great memories."

Patch Editor Autumn Johnson:

"When I was a much younger, my brother was going to deep fry a turkey and he hadn't calculated in about the displacement of the oil in the pot as he inserted the bird into fry..... oil overflowed all over the stove... And why was he deep fryin' in the house anyway? Ewww!"

Turkey traumas from Facebook:

Beth Bruns: No turkey trauma but my story is more about the clean-up. I had the whole dinner just about under control... Everything still cooking and was going to start doing the dishes. I put my sweet potato skins in the disposal and a portion of the pipe under the sink came loose and I had a huge gush of water come rushing out from under the sink! Ugh! That's what happens when you have a friend put in your garbage disposal!!

Deann Braley: Like the time the glass screen on the fireplace blew out and filled the house with smoke, not to mention the glass all over the carpet five minutes before the in-laws showed up?

Have a "turkey trauma" story you want to share? Tell us in the comments section below.

George Withers November 20, 2012 at 03:23 PM
One year my Mother had made Four-Corner sandwiches for a party, just before Thanksgiving, with Green Dyed Bread and had a loaf left over. So she decided to use it for the stuffing for our Turkey. You should have seen the family reaction with this emerald green stuffing started coming out of the bottom of this bird. She never did live down this story.
Autumn Johnson (Editor) November 20, 2012 at 06:11 PM
George, great story! Thanks for sharing.
anon November 20, 2012 at 06:32 PM
Not a trauma, but a funny story. One year I had made my fabulous homemade clam chowder. Lots of work, but well worth it. My brother loved it, which was a real compliment since we grew up in San Francisco and enjoyed authetic wharf clam chowder. The next thanksgiving I again was hosting, and everyone was seated and the covered turin that I had served the clam chowder the previous year was in the middle of the table. My brother reached over and removed the lid, anticipating that tantalizing clam chowder, only to find the turin filled with steamed thyme carrots. The groans from around the table were hilarious.
#whitegoof November 20, 2012 at 09:43 PM
autumn johnson you are so pretty
Sue Lilley November 21, 2012 at 04:17 AM
I remember our first Thanksgiving, I didn't realize that you are supposed to take out the giblets before you put the turkey in the oven!!
Michael Night November 27, 2012 at 01:00 AM
AT&T in San Ramon employs this short white woman named Teresa that is dating this guy named Migel who is from Oakland and a tow truck driver/pediphile/meth user who is wanted for unpaid drug debts. Teressa is a receptionist at AT&T. If you need tows or drugs contact her or tow company called Mickeys. They are listed in Oakland.


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